what’s on my mind?

The prompt for writing on this website is “what’s on your mind?” There are so many things on my mind that it can be somewhat paralyzing. My spirituality is all tied together with how I view the world daily, politically, spiritually, how I treat people, how I treat myself… I have difficulty much of the time parsing it out, pulling those many threads apart to write something specifically on one of these topics or on something completely different.
Overall I am a positive and happy person. This does not mean that I do not have moments, or longer, of despair related to the state of our earth and the many creatures that live on/with it. While humans are one of the types of creatures there are so many more that are not human and they are being directly affected by our actions or lack thereof.

Also on my mind are the many “isms” that are rearing their ugly heads with such a vengeance. Do I address my heart break? Do I speak politically? Do I just weep? I feel compelled to say and do something, anything…but in what venue and with how much vehemence. I am told I can be quite intense… The racism and misogyny that is killing and silencing so many is creating a rage in me that I can barely contain. The words that go with that rage may or may not be helpful and so I silence myself until I feel that what I have to say can help change the state of hatefulness that seems so prevalent.

And I know that there is great beauty in the world. A world where love, support, true kindness, and the work of allies is big in its ability to change. A world where people care, and plant trees, and save bees, and each other is out there…

I am mostly a both/and kind of person. Lately there are so many examples of people just killing people because they can. Children with guns, adults who think that is okay. What IS that?! Women treated as broodmares and laws that attempt to codify that opinion. Sometimes (most times) a sense of panic accompanies any of the news I may watch or read.

Knowing what to DO is mind crippling at times. I know I cannot save them all, no matter who “them” is. But I really want to. Even if it is not my job to “SAVE” anyone. I want everyone to live inside with plenty of food. I want everyone to have healthcare, education, healthy options for whatever life they lead.

I hear so much naked hatred from so many religious “leaders” that really should be called religious “haters” and still I know the Work continues, quietly, continuously… Sometimes that knowing doesn’t help my sense of urgency. The urgency to plant a forest, save the bees and bats and all pollinators (even wasps!) while in the face of such naked aggressive greed on all sides and such resignation and desperation in equal amounts.

I have no answers. I just keep going forward trying to do as much as I can to make the world around me a better place. To be kind as much as I can, to be generous, and to plant stuff so we can all continue to breathe. I do my political work, I vote (really you should too) and I work for money in the mundane world so that my family can live inside and eat food etc.

So yeah, that is what’s on my mind.