Feeling it lately

The world is a complicated place sometimes. People categorizing other people and judging that category as either acceptable or unacceptable. Either way blocking themselves off from learning, growing, loving in a multitude of ways and levels.
It is painful to read or watch the news and see yet another story or report about a person killed in cold blood because of the color of their skin, who they love, who to worship or not worship. Bombs being dropped from the sky like rain on other mother’s children and then reading or watching other people be happy about those bombs, those deaths. My heart aches at the cycle of death and retribution being created before my very eyes. My heart aches for the mothers and fathers who have to pick up the bodies of their children and for the children who have to pick up the bodies of their parents.
Some days I find it hard to see the beauty and kindness that I know are all around me. I have to actively look, be aware, listen to see and hear it. Kind people spewing words of hatred or judgement. Justifications from their sacred books about killing the “other” that will “destroy their way of life” it is sickening. people in positions of power abusing their power to strip people of their rights and their lives. But if I am still and stop looking outside myself for a moment I can see it, the beauty.
I must be very still. I must really go deep and look around and dig out the kindnesses from the muck and the mire, the din of the “news” and pull them out and feel them, see them, smell them. They are there, even in the news. If you look away from the death and destruction you can see those that help. If you look away from the hatred you can see them. They are there running day cares, food banks, donating money, sending cards of support, driving their beloveds or strangers to wherever it is they need to be. Planting trees and flowers, taking in strays, both human and animal. They are there. Know it.
It is those kindnesses and this beauty that is dim for me today. But they are there. Today I am digging to find them so that I can charge up my hope, my love, my ability to be kind and loving instead of angry and retributive. Today it is hard. I am doing it anyway.